OK, am terminat. Am terminat cu vinovatia, anxietatea, stresul si, bineinteles, nu am terminat lucrurile.
M-am saturat sa raspund „ce ai facut azi” cu „nimic”. Desigur, este o minciuna – am facut ceva , nu doar ceva important – nu nimic care m-a facut sa ma simt mai fericit, mai complet sau mai relaxat.
Ceea ce am facut astazi a fost sa petrec 8 ore sa ma lovesc, sa ma dau jos si sa imi spun „chiar trebuie sa fac. . .“.
De ce procrastinarea este intotdeauna usor de facut chiar acum
Psihologii imi spun ca motivul pentru care am intarziat este acela ca se simte atat de bine. Iti vine sa crezi? Tot vinovatia, stresul si imaginea de sine rea se simt bine ?
Totusi, nu? Nu auto-recriminarile, ci scuzarea si implinirea scuzelor.
Iata de ce:
- Atunci cand amanam, tindem sa facem lucruri pe care stim sa le facem – nu exista niciun risc. Si evitarea riscului se simte bine – creierul nostru il iubeste atunci cand nu facem lucruri care ne lasa la vedere, lucruri care ne fac vulnerabili.
- Cele mai multe dintre lucrurile pe care le facem in timp ce ne amanam sunt distractive, oferind o rambursare imediata – in loc de rambursarea amanata a proiectelor de rutina, plictisitoare sau indelungate pe care le punem la cale. Un mic fior ne face sa ne simtim mai buni decat un fior mai mare la un moment dat in viitorul indepartat.
- Procrastinarea ajuta la prevenirea succesului si ne temem de succes. Succesul la orice lucru important inseamna schimbare, inseamna a deveni cineva diferit, inseamna a creste ca persoana – si toate aceste lucruri sunt cu adevarat, cu adevarat greu. De cealalta parte, pe de alta parte, realizeaza rar ceva important, asa ca pot ramane confortabil cu mine .
Nu pot sa va spun cat de mult urasc ca stiu toate despre mine! Pariez ca nu sunteti atat de incantat de asta.
Si nu am mentionat nici macar partea despre cum ne uram parintii si am sa uram si mai mult pentru ei sa ne vada reusind, deoarece asta ar valida anii lor de a ne tortura in adulti trecatori.
Deci, ce este un sarac si lenes sa faca?
Nu-ti pot spune cum sa te descurci cu resentimentele tale evidente din copilarie, dar poate exista o modalitate de a evita amanarea fara o terapie scumpa si consumatoare de timp? Terapia pe care o veti folosi, probabil, ca o alta scuza pentru a nu face tot ceea ce va amendati in primul rand? („Nu pot scrie romanul meu pana cand analistul meu nu spune ca sunt gata.”)
Sigur ca exista. Cand vine vorba de aceasta, tot ce trebuie sa facem este sa a) sa minimalizam recompensele procrastinarii si b) sa maximizam recompensele nedepunerii. Cat de greu ar putea fi asta?
OK, poate un pic cam greu. Deci cum o facem? Care este programul daca nu puteti inceta amanarea? Sa vedem daca putem descoperi asta.
1. Faceti liste
Stiati ca o sa spun asta, nu-i asa? Stii ca ador listele. Listele sunt bune – sunt distractive si chiar mai amuzante sa le arunci cand ai terminat.
Listele sunt foarte utile daca nu puteti opri amanarea, deoarece acestea ne ajuta sa facem fata cel putin doi dintre cei trei factori care provoaca aversiunea si recompensele pentru procrastinare.
Iata cum:
- A face o lista simti ca faci ceva. Bing! Ai recompensa ta.
- Crossing something done off your list feels good. Bing! Another reward.
- Making a list reduces the risk that you’ll forget to do something—and therefore that you’ll screw up and fail. Bing! Your brain likes that, a lot.
You can’t make just any list, though. As I never tire of saying, lists should be concrete, granular, doable—the first item on your list should be something you can glance at and immediately do.
Don’t know how? Then it shouldn’t be the first thing on your list; figuring out how to do it should be the first thing on your list. Or, rather, “Use Google to find out how to do x”, or “Go to the library to get books on x”, or “Take a class on x” should be first on your list.
Then, the next thing on your list should be something you can glance at and immediately do; and the third thing, and the fourth.
If you can’t start doing something within two minutes of reading it on your list, it’s not concrete enough. Call it “The Other Two Minutes Rule”.
2. Get Motivated
There’s lots of advice on how to get motivated; whatever it takes you to be motivated, do that thing.
Here’s one idea: play the best-case/worst-case game.
What’s the best possible outcome of whatever it is you’re (not) working on?
Visualize it. Daydream about it. Ok, put that aside for a minute.
Now, what’s the worst possible outcome? Don’t be afraid—spill it. You finish your project and now what? Now ask yourself—how likely is that? Really? Be honest here—chances are you haven’t undertaken something that you’re wholly unsuited for. OK, that’s better.
Now, ask yourself if the best-case scenario makes the worst-case worth the risk? I’ll bet it does (note: if there’ a chance that successfully completing your project might well kill you, please, try un-motivating yourself. I kind of like having you around!).
Another way of getting motivated is to relive past successes.
How did you feel the last time you finished a project? What did you have to do to get that one done? How closely did the outcome match your fears? Yeah, not too closely, right?
Moving on.
3. Reward Yourself
Some people say that rewards aren’t good motivation. Don’t believe them. Those people are probably criminals.
OK, maybe not—but they’re only right about external rewards, a.k.a. “bribes”. As it happens, offering rewards to employees often doesn’t increase motivation.
But offering rewards to yourself—well, that’s just good common sense. You need that Bing! moment—you are, after all, simply a giant hairless ape with a yen for gourmet coffee and a laptop.
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This is a good hack if you just can’t stop procrastinating.
Researchers placed monkeys in a cage, with a button that, when pressed, dispensed a piece of food. “Yum!” said the monkey when he pushed the button. So he pushed it again. And again. Monkeys are, of course, just small hairy people without coffee or laptops, so they learn pretty fast.
Then the researchers added a twist: every third time the monkey pushed the button, he’d get an electric shock! “Ouch!” said the monkey—then he ate his treat. “Ouch ouch!” he said, the next time—then he ate his treat.
The moral of this story is that we’ll put up with quite a bit of crap, as long as we get our treat. Your challenge, then, is to find a treat good enough to hit the button for, even though you know it’s going to hurt like heck.
4. Be Accountable
Shame, guilt, humiliation—they can be effective motivational tools. The problem is, when they’re directed at ourselves, they’re corrosive, undoing motivation as fast as they create it.
It’s hard to convince yourself you’re not going to fail when you’ve also convinced yourself you’re a no-good lazy stupid son-of-a-…badger.
My advice: outsource your guilt and humiliation to someone you love and respect. The world is flat, after all. It’s what Tim Ferriss would do.
What do I mean, exactly?
Simple: tell someone—tell lots of people—what you’re doing, when you’re going to be done, how excited you are about it, how important it is to you, and so on.
Now you’ve got risk. You fail, and everyone is going to know. Put that fear of failure to good use! Now, what’s going to prevent the negative payoff of everyone knowing what you want to get done?
5. Do It for Three Minutes
Aside from, say, breathing poison gas or watching reality television, you can do anything for just three minutes, right?
Get a kitchen timer (I don’t actually advocate stealing from your grandmother, but you do what it takes), set it for three minutes, and work. Since you aren’t likely to be procrastinating something you could do in less than three minutes, you have no reason to fear the successful completion of your project.
And you can promise yourself whatever you want when the timer goes off—a cup of coffee, a game of Minesweeper, a half-hour of porn surfing, whatever. Bing! You get your reward—and guess what? Having gotten three minutes of work done will feel pretty good, too. Bing bing!
Next time, shoot for five. Then ten. Eventually, dare I say it, you might be able to put in as much as 25 minutes of solid work without dying—all in a row!
There’s something else, though. Sometimes, once we start working, it feels so good to be working towards our goal, we don’t stop when the timer goes off. We start making excuses—”just one more sentence, I promise, then I’ll play Minesweeper”—in effect, procrastinating our procrastination. Bing bing bing bing bing!
6. Learn to Embrace Change
Last but not least, you need to get past the whole fear of success thing.
Jonathan Fields, a guest contributor here at Lifehack, offers some tips in his article How to Sell Yourself on Lifestyle Change, and he should know—he’s had quite a few successes in his life, and all of them have drastically changed his life for the better.
It can be hard to imagine coming to terms with what success will mean for you, but here’s my promise: you’ll know how to deal with success when you get there, even if you can’t imagine it now.
Final Words
It is traditional, of course, to end a post on procrastination with a sly joke about how you should start putting these tips into action, first thing tomorrow.
But you know what? Procrastination can be serious stuff and many people just can’t stop procrastinating, so I’m not going to do that.
Instead, I’m going to tell you to turn off your monitor for a minute, get out a piece of paper, and write a list of what you should be working on next. And then start doing it.
Because, believe me, you’ll be a better person afterwards. And that’ll feel great.
Bing!
More Tips If You Can’t Stop Procrastinating
- How to Beat Procrastination: 29 Simple Tweaks to Make
- How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators
- Types of Procrastination (And How To Fix Procrastination And Start Doing)
Featured photo credit: Dai KE via unsplash.com
