Multe moduri in care navigam, intelegem si vorbim despre sex si relatii este probabil sa se schimbe ca urmare a pandemiei globale.
Pandemia coronavirusului a schimbat deja profund multe din vietile noastre. Si este sigur ca virusul va schimba unele lucruri pentru totdeauna. Unele industrii vor esua, altele vor prospera. Vom invata noi moduri de lucru si noi modalitati de intelegere a impactului capitalismului. Vom reconsidera cine sunt cei mai vulnerabili oameni din societatea noastra globala.
Si alte lucruri se pot schimba – lucruri nu sunt atat de bine documentate. Studiez sexul si sunt sigur ca aceasta criza va avea efecte semnificative in ceea ce priveste modul in care societatea o vede. Acest lucru se datoreaza faptului ca cerintele de a exersa distantarea si izolarea sociala au insemnat ca modul in care gandim despre sex a fost inversat.
O treime din populatia globala este blocata si trebuie sa stam unul de celalalt, nu din motive morale ambigue sau contestate, ci pentru a salva vieti. Ca atare, multe rezultate in care navigam, intelegem si vorbim despre sex si relatii este probabil sa se schimbe ca urmare.
1. Masturbare, sex sex si porno
Unele companii de jucarii sexuale raporteaza ca vanzarile au crescut din cauza cerintei de izolare, unele companii oferind cadouri de izolare. Accesul la pornografie este si el in crestere, companiile care valorifica izolarea oportunitatii ne aduce sa ne incurajam sa vizionam mai multe filme porno.
Inainte de criza, aceste industrii nu ar fi fost considerate esentiale. Conversatia in jurul porno, jucarii sexuale si masturbarea este in mod conventional vazuta ca un tabu, dar o consecinta inadvertenta a pandemiei este ca masturbarea nu numai ca este discutata mai liber, dar poate fi considerata o parte importanta a bunastarii noastre – chiar si pentru salvarea vietii.
Asadar, conversatia a inceput sa se schimbe in moduri interesante de cand s-a impus izolarea, dar si in virtutea dorintei guvernelor si oficialilor in mod normal prudenti de a vorbi in mod explicit si detaliat despre sex. Pandemia a vazut Departamentul de Sanatate si Igiena Mintala din NYC afirmand ca „sunteti cel mai sigur partener de sex” si avertizand impotriva sarutarii si jucariilor sexuale slab curatate.
2. Noi intelegeri
Social distancing means that we have been forced apart, yet sexual desire and our desire to touch, and be touched, continues. Cohabiting couples might find themselves divided due to advice to be three steps apart even within the same home if they become ill. And single people have inevitably been shut off from opportunities to connect sexually, which has caused a surge in (virtual) online dating.
Expert in sex and public health Carlos Rodriguez-Diaz has suggested that it is necessary to consider and recognise forms of virtual sexual contact as ways of expressing erotic desire, such as sexting, video calls, and reading erotica. This move away from physical touch as the centre of sex shifts conventional understandings of sex as only physical penetration.
It will be necessary to experiment with ways of not only connecting sexually, but also of appreciating these forms of sex as being meaningful.
3. Non-monogamous relationships
Under these unique conditions, we will be pushed to reconsider enduring questions around fidelity and non-monogamous relationships. Consider a situation where a partner within a long-term cohabiting relationship has an additional partner whom they do not live with, perhaps it is through an affair, or perhaps the relationship is polyamorous. The impact of isolation may provoke the possibility of break ups of some affairs, through a new understanding of risk in light of the pandemic.
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Covert affairs and polyamorous relationships are already more emotionally complex than monogamous relationships, given the inherent challenge they bring to accepted and conventional ways of loving, as well as their unusual hierarchical structures. Physical presence is important, since it can often be the only way of communicating (particularly in covert affairs), and maintaining intimacy and equality among partners.
Isolation and this global crisis will trigger new conversations based on people’s lived experiences of the challenges and possibilities of such relationships.
4. Home as a dangerous space
While people must remain at home to preserve themselves and others, many governments have recognised that some may find their wellbeing jeopardised if they are isolating while in an abusive relationship. The risks to people in these situations can be physical, but they are also psychological and emotional. Shelters and hotels are being made available but access to these options will not be easy for all, since leaving the home at all will be difficult when under the control of an abusive partner.
Questions about the ethics of remaining in the space of such a relationship are now different. Outsiders might suggest that the person should now stay in the relationship, rather than criticise them for not leaving. COVID-19 should open up discussions, and bring focus back onto what causes harm in these relationships, rather than blaming the actions of the survivor.
5. Thinking about consent
To understand more about consent, it is important to understand more about the impact of touch. COVID-19 has made everyone more conscious of how their body might affect others, while also recognising our capacity for kindness towards one another through mutual aid groups compiled of volunteers, who in turn also need to be conscious of how they deliver aid with minimal touch.
COVID-19 forces the debate to focus on the impact of our actions on other people and those connected with our partners – parents, family members, friends. Isolation makes the consequences of breaches of consent visible and clear. The world therefore is presented with a unique opportunity to understand the impact of touch to have unintended consequences and chain reactions.
We are also forced into awareness of our capacity to be kind and put others first: a cornerstone of navigating good sex.
The Conversation
