Michele Mae Stoughton Strealy 5 aprilie 2009

Am simtit ca am castigat la loterie cand Jim a acceptat sa imi permita privilegiul de a va vorbi astazi despre Michele. Si nu iti poti imagina care este un privilegiu si care a fost o parte din viata ei. Eu sunt Sharon Strealy Krueger, iar Michele este cumnata mea pretiosa, cumnata care a stabilit bariera pentru socrii mai mare decat s-ar fi putut imagina vreodata. Am dori sa va multumim pe fiecare dintre voi astazi aici, pentru

confortul pe care vi-l confera prezenta voastra, precum si pentru fiecare rugaciune si act de bunatate care a fost acordat lui Michele de-a lungul anilor, in special in ultimele luni si zile.

Michele s-a nascut intr-o familie iubitoare, hranitoare, ingrijitoare, la Dale si Lucy Stoughton, in Paw Paw, Michigan, si a crescut rezervata de sora mai mare, Sheri si fratele mic, Steve. In cele din urma, au migrat in Texas, multumind bunatatii, prin Iowa, unde Michele a terminat liceul. Ea era cunoscuta drept copilul care, cumva, a fost urmat acasa de pisici fara stapan si cainele ocazional. Dale era destul de sigura ca a imbracat intr-un fel pisicile pentru a-si urma casa.

A variat afine cu bunica in Michigan, vara, si a asteptat cu nerabdare sa culeaga porumb in Iowa si si-a facut prieteni pe tot parcursul drumului. In liceu, ea lucra de obicei verile la Dairy Queen. Chiar inainte ca scoala sa inceapa toamna, stia mereu ca va purta discutia cu tatal ei. Dale avea sa o aseze si sa intrebe cum a decurs meseria la Dairy Queen, iar Michele s-ar plange de munca grea si cat de grea a fost.

El ar face apoi mereu ideea ca, fara o educatie buna,

Regina Lactate ar fi ceea ce ar fi trebuit sa astepte intotdeauna. Acest punct a fost, evident, bine luat. Dupa ce a obtinut un masterat la Texasul de Nord, in 1984, a inceput o cariera la Avondale House, inceputa aici in spatiu, la acest locas al bisericii, unde suntem astazi, singura slujba de adulti pe care a avut-o si careia i-a fost dedicata.

Array

In toamna anului 1986, fratele meu, Jim, a inceput sa intalneasca o tanara pe nume Michele Stoughton, la Houston. Au fost introduse de prietenul lor reciproc si de colegul de camera al colegiului Michele, Jeri. Jim are 3 surori mai mari, iar la acea vreme, cu totii aveam familii si copii mici si eram ingrijorati ca Jim nu o va gasi pe cea.

Acel Ziua Recunostintei, l-a adus pe Michele cu el, la casa mea din Arlington. Surorile sale au stiut imediat ca ea este cea pentru noi oricum. Am fost bucurosi cand

s-au logodit si, in decembrie, 1987, am fost casatoriti. Familiile Stoughton si Strealy si multi prieteni (multi care sunt astazi aici, sunt sigur) s-au adunat la River Oaks Garden Club Forum, la doar cateva blocuri distanta, pentru a sarbatori o noua familie.

It was a warm December day, but, being Houston, it rained, but the beautiful tall, historic windows of the Forum glistened at sunset. Michele was a radiant

bride, glowing with a halo of garland around her head. Its no coincidence that we frequently call her Saint Michele, and have for more than 20 years.

At the time, our parents were gone, and we didn’t schedule many holidays together, with lots of young children, and busy jobs. Michele became the family

glue. Soon afterwards we began a long tradition of going to Wimberly together in the summer, and Salado at Christmas. The longest-standing tradition we have, and for which we are known for our Olympic-like skills, is that the women go shopping.

Over the years, during our shopping escapades, mostly at the outlet malls in San Marcos, we started out shopping for pretty lingerie, then next came

maternity clothes, followed by major trips to the Carter’s store for baby clothes, later the Disney Store, followed by Limited Too, then Gap, and on and on. You could track the ages of our children by what shopping bags we brought home.

Jim and Michele were blessed with two wonderful children, Cameron and Ali. As I said before, Michele set the bar very high, and she was living proof that a woman could successfully have a rewarding career balanced with a loving and caring and busy family.

Michele loved being at Avondale House, and sometimes you could barely distinguish where Avondale stopped and family began. Both were her very being, and she loved each student at Avondale as though they were her very own. Just a few days ago

she was in anguish because one of her former, graduated students was missing from a group home, and she feared that he would not be recognized as having special needs, before something sad happened to him.

He had not been in her school for about 10 years, and her heart was still heavy for him. She felt that strongly about every single student that came her way, and loved them all unconditionally, from the day they came to her as a very young child, and long after they graduated from Avondale, and left for what she always hoped was a bright future.

Michele revered her staff, and the special work they accomplished at Avondale. She considered everyone there to be a dear friend, and had a special

friendship with multitudes of parents over the years. When she was at home, her heart was with Avondale, and when she was at school, her heart was with her family.

After Michele’s grim diagnosis more than 10 years ago, she began the fight of her life. Not once have I ever heard her complain about the suffering she endured, or any treatment she took. She good naturedly lost her hair at least a half-dozen times over the years. She never knew what texture or color it would come back in, and teased Jim that she was beginning to prefer the lack of maintenance that

bald required.

Not only did she not complain, or feel sorry for herself, but her stories about her trips to MD Anderson were about those she came across that she was heartbroken for, such as a child with cancer, and never about herself. Having cancer was an inconvenience to her, and she suffered terribly, but she lived her life at full-throttle in the meantime.

Michele, Jim, Cameron and Ali lived in Spring Branch all these years, and lived in a real neighborhood and I mean real, in that all the neighbors know and care about one another, look after whatever needs to be done for each other. We are incredibly grateful for that neighborhood for supplying a support system that allowed Michele to endure endless treatments but not be worried about whether the kids would get to soccer practice, or school, or if the trash would get to the curb.

Michele somehow continued to participate in Cameron’s and Ali’s activities, in whatever way she could, up until a few days ago. She was so thrilled that she could see Cameron play soccer, on a cold, rainy March night, and that the field had a spot that she could watch from the car.

She was teaching Ali to needlepoint, something that Michele had always loved to do, and something that helped relieve some of the waiting room time at MD Anderson. Her father was usually there at her side, each treasuring every minute together.

The Strealys regularly went on a Spring Break cruise with their neighbors and friends, and they loved sitting on a warm, sandy beach just being together, wherever the ship would land. They explored every square inch of their beautiful property, near Wimberly, over and over again, where her ashes will be scattered.

Jim said that the one thing that Michele insisted they do after they would pack for a trip, of all things, just before they would leave the house, she insisted they not leave until they made up their bed.

Michele’s life was made up of so much more than being a devoted wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and employee.

She left a measurable, real legacy here on this temporary stop on Earth, although her

life was far too brief. She felt called into special education, and that calling was so easy and natural for her. She felt as blessed in her work, as those touched by her work felt blessed by her.

Her legacy includes a long marriage, in a time when marriages are considered temporary. Michele was loyal, to all who crossed her path. She was forthright, and we always knew where we stood with Michele. She was brilliant. She timed her medications in the last few months so she could stay awake during what she

called “the brain hour” back-to-back Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.

Whenever we played board games at our family get-togethers, we would fight over whose team Michele would be on. You had to be prepared to lose if Michele was not on your team.

Michele was always up to playing with the kids or adults. She did swear off floating down the Guadalupe when Cameron was little, after getting dumped out of her tube a little more harshly than she wanted.

She endured games of 42, but she was always up to our shopping trips. And she could be counted on to bring the best food and snacks. We quit giving out commendations for family meal presentation, when Michele showed up with a majestic carved

watermelon basket, complete with a handle. We couldn’t compete.

And Michele was a loving, patient, and nurturing mother. Last summer, Ali, with a question wise beyond her young years, asked my grown daughter, Amy, if she would teach her how to be a mother when she grew up. My daughter assured her

that that would not be necessary, as Ali had already been taught everything she would ever need to know to by an expert, by her own mother.

Amy couldn’t travel here today, following some surgery a few days ago, but she and Michele have always been very close, long before they each became mothers of 13 years old daughters that are inseparable cousins, although living miles apart.

In Amy’s words, she adds that, “Michele has been in my life since I was a teenager so she has taught me so much about being a wonderful teacher, mom, friend

and a very patient wife. Every important moment in my adult life, Michele has been there for me, like I know she has for many people. She always has the perfect words to say. I don’t know how our family will go on playing games without her witty comebacks–we would all agree she was the smartest person in our family. I am so blessed to have the memories I have-mostly she has left the most wonderful gift

to me and all of us–Cameron and Ali. They are amazing and wonderful and I’ll always get to see Michele in them. I couldn’t love them more if they were my own.”

Just a week ago, the Strealys were hopeful. Michele had just begun a new treatment, having spent a long Friday at MD Anderson. There were still other options after that. For whatever reason, it was not to be.

She slipped into the arms of the angels, with Jim, Ali and Cameron holding her hand. She was no longer suffering, and was surrounded by those who loved her. Jim told me earlier that day, that he had gone home the night before, to get a little sleep, and take a shower and change clothes, after spending some long days and nights by Michele’s side.

Early that morning he was on his way back to the hospital, not knowing that it would be his last day with Michele.

Michele, you are going to have a very difficult time believing this but before Jim left the house, on Thursday morning, for some reason, believe it or

not, before your final trip together here on earth, he made up the bed before he left the house.

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