O, Dumnezeule, ai un secret! Ce este, ce este!

De-a lungul istoriei, putine animale au fost mai infioratoare decat hiena. Acesta este un criteriu, la urma urmei, ca faimosul rade la fel ca noi si, potrivit naturalistului roman Pliniu cel Batran, ne poate chema pe nume, apoi poate continua sa ne sacrificam cand iesim din casele noastre. Nici animalele noastre de companie nu sunt ferite de hiena, pentru ca „atunci cand umbra ei cade pe caini, sunt loviti mut”, scrie Pliny.

Cel mai confuz dintre toate, insa, sunt organele genitale ale hienei. Intr-adevar, spune Pliny, criticul este „popular crezut ca este bisexual si ca va deveni barbat si femeie in anii alternanti”. In fabula lui Aesop „The Hyenas”, „isi schimba sexul in fiecare an”. Chiar si Ernest Hemingway a numit hiena „un devorator hermafroditic auto-alimentar al mortilor, remorca de vaci de vitel, ciocanitor de sunca, potential intepator al fetei tale in timpul noptii.” Arsura bolnava, Ernest.

Radacina tuturor acestor mitologii sexuale? Ei bine, se dovedeste ca hienele de sex feminin au clitorisuri extrem de largite pe jumatate de picior, care arata aproape perfect ca niste penisuri, completate cu ceea ce par a fi testicule, care sunt de fapt labiile lor care s-au pliat si s-au topit. Chiar primesc erectii. O, de asemenea, ei dau nastere unui pui de doua kilograme din clitorisul enorm.

Aici, aruncati o privire la acei puii adorabili. Acest articol va deveni un pic mai greu.

Cu toate acestea, contrar a ceea ce ar fi putut crede Ernest, acesta nu este hermafroditism. Masculii si femelele au o genetica distincta si organe de reproducere, cu toate acestea, clitorisul este foarte modificat. Ceea ce ridica intrebarea: De ce s-ar dezvolta un astfel de lucru?

O idee este ca ar putea avea ceva de-a face cu viata sociala neobisnuita a hienelor. Hienele cu pete de sex feminin pot fi cu 10% mai mari decat masculii, si spre deosebire de majoritatea mamiferelor carnivore sociale, femela este conducatorul hiper-agresiv al clanului, care conduce vanatoare si isi afirma dominatia asupra masculilor. Un studiu a descoperit ca cu cat femela este mai dominanta, cu atat ea isi dozeaza mai mult faturile cu un nivel ridicat de hormon androgen, ceea ce le face mai agresive si, prin urmare, mai capabile sa lupte pentru hrana intr-un clan de pana la 80 de persoane.

Odata s-a crezut ca acest androgen a fost cel care a determinat cresterea fugita a clitorisului. Dar cand cercetatorii au hranit medicamente cu hienele insarcinate care au blocat productia de androgeni, urmasii de sex feminin au dezvoltat inca clitorise largite.

The medieval Aberdeen Bestiary’s depiction of the hyena and its, uh, naughty bits.

While the bizarre genitals thus aren’t simply a side effect of the androgen, they certainly evolved for a reason. One hypothesis argues that with such a long reproductive tract, it takes far longer for sperm to reach their destination, buying the female time to urinate to flush out the sperm if she wasn’t all that into the male after all–sexual selection at its finest. (What the high levels of androgen are likely doing, by the way, is causing males to begin mounting females at a younger age. Scientists think that this is because–and I’m being serious here–males need the practice to be able to insert their erect penis into the female’s placid sorta-penis.)

The hyena’s eating habits, too, have been the source of misplaced revulsion. Sixteenth-century naturalist Conrad Gesner claimed hyenas gorge themselves so thoroughly that they must force themselves between two trees or boulders to squeeze their meals out of both ends. Incorrect, to be sure, but the hyena will in fact eat pretty much anything it can get its teeth on. It’s the garbage disposal of Africa, chewing through bones and horns and hooves. And while it’s long been painted as a no-good, dirty scavenger, the spotted hyena is an adept predator that kills up to 95 percent of the food it eats.

O astfel de malignizare nedreapta a hienei se intoarce de 2000 de ani la descrierea fantezista a lui Pliniu a creaturii ca avand „anumite arte magice prin care determina ca fiecare animal la care priveste de trei ori sa stea inradacinat la fata locului.” Nu a ajutat la imaginea hyenei ca in secolele de dupa Pliniu, bestiariile Evului Mediu – enciclopedii de creaturi atat reale cat si imaginate – pareau sa plece din calea lor pentru a picta vietuitoarele ca niste talhari brutali si devianti sexuali.

Reprezentarea crocotta de la Bestiarul Aberdeen, cu organele genitale cu 100 la suta mai putin decat ilustratia bestiarului din inspiratia creaturii mitice, hiena.

One medieval bestiary noted that since hyenas are “neither male nor female, they are neither faithful nor pagan,” and are obviously not to be trusted.

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With their one-of-a-kind sex, hyenas were used in such bestiaries to illustrate the evils of homosexuality. (These authors had no way of knowing it, but homosexual behavior has been observed in all kinds of species, from dolphins to penguins to certain homophobic politicians.)

It’s the kind of brutal reputation that even today the hyena is still having trouble shaking off, thanks in no small part to contemporary portrayals of it as a wretched beast in movies like The Lion King. (Also, contrary to what Disney says, hyenas can’t speak like humans that well.)

For thousands of years we’ve had the hyena all wrong. So the next time you see a hyena, say you’re sorry. It may seem like it’s laughing back at you, but thank your lucky stars it isn’t calling your name and dragging you out of your house, then casting its shadow on the family dog.

Image: Chris Eason/Flickr